What Do You Want?

May. 17, 2026

Passage: 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5

There are voices crying aloud to us all day every day, speaking to us about our identity and our desires—who we are and what we want.

The point of advertising is to convince us that we can have what we want—for the right price. One of their most effective tactics is to cultivate witinin us a particular sense of who we are or at least who we’d like to imagine ourselves as: a cowboy, a tycoon, a beauty queen, a genius. The advertising industry knows that our spending decisions are are shaped by our desires, and what we want is all tied up into who we think we are—or at least, who we wish we were.

Often the world tells us that we need to look inside and discover our identity in our desires. It tells us we should notice what we want most strongly and most often, and then accept that who we are is wrapped up in what we want. Once we have discovered our identity in our desires, then we should express that identity aloud. When we have done that, we are told, we can expect the entire world to accommodate itself to our expressed identity. As our society sees things, this is all particularly true in the arena of sexuality. Who we are is discovered in what we want, and everyone around us is expected to adjust their understanding of reality to who we say we are, based on what we’ve discovered about what we want.

The truth is our country has always been about what we want. The first English colony in the New world, Roanoke in North Carolina, what is called The Lost colony, was about the desire of the Queen of England for lands. She wanted to keep up with the Spanish and the Portuguese and the French. The second colony, Jamestown in Virginia, was all about the desire for gold and other opportunities to profit. The third colony, Plymouth in Massachusetts, was planted by people who desperately wanted to believe and practice the teachings of the Bible in whatever way they saw fit. This is the land of opportunity. This is the place to go in order to get what you want.

Of course, the way God puts things is quite a bit different. As our Creator sees it, we are what he made us to be and therefore we are who he tells us we are. The way he first created humanity, our desires flowed naturally from our created identity. What we naturally wanted most was precisely the same as what our Maker had formed us to do: fill the earth and subdue it. We were pure, naive, simple, the kings and queens of a brand new world.

But we did not stay pure for long. The world we live in now is fallen and faulty. We struggle to know who we are and what we want. In fact, what we think about those things can change from day to day or even minute to minute. That’s why we are so vulnerable to advertisers—or plastic surgeons. Desire and identity—what we think we want and who we think we are—are massive issues today.

We are looking today at a couple of verses that directly address the issue of desire, specifically sexual desire, and where it fits in the Creator’s plan for our lives. We have been poking around in 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 for the last couple of weeks. That passage lays out for us, with crystal clarity, God’s policy on sexual purity.

S&R 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

¹ Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. ²For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. ³For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; ⁴that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, ⁵not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; ⁶that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. ⁷For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. ⁸Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

We are looking both particularly at verses four and five:

⁴that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, ⁵ not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

These verses speak plainly about how a Christian should live, Especially with regard to sexual desire. They suggest four simple but deep questions:

Who are you?
What do you want?
Where do your wants come from?
What should be your deepest desire?

1^st Who are you?

Paul says, “each one of you.” That means every believer. This is personal. Not just for pastors or leaders—this is for every Christian. Here are three quick thoughts about your true Christian identity—who you really are if you are a follower of the Lord Jesus:

You are someone who knows God

Everywhere in the Old Testament and most places in the New, the word “Gentiles” means “non-Jews.” The Bible does not always mean the same thing we mean when it uses the word “Jew.” The writers of the New Testament, in particular, believe that Jesus is the true Jewish Messiah and that his followers are the true Jews. So sometimes in the New Testament the word gentile can mean “somebody who is not a follower of the true Jewish Messiah Jesus.” This is one of those times.

Paul is writing to the Thessalonian church. A few of them grew up Jewish and came to believe that Jesus was their Messiah when Paul showed up preaching that message. Most of them, though, grew up totally pagan gentiles. Yet now as Paul writes to them he does not consider them gentiles any longer. Now they are followers of the Son of God and they are part of the people of God. The “Gentiles” are all the people, native-born Jew or native-born Greek, who have not yet repented of their sin and accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord.

What was true then is true now. Paul says unbelievers (Gentiles) are people “who do not know God.” So a Christian is someone who does know God.

That means:

God is not a stranger
God is not just an idea
You belong to Him, and He knows you

Your identity is not based on your feelings or what others say. Your identity is based on your relationship with God.

You are responsible for your life

Paul says you must “know how to control your own body.”

That means:

You are not a slave to your feelings
You are responsible for how you live
You are bringing your body and its passions under control

God calls you to take charge of your life under His authority.

You are set apart

Paul uses the words “holy and honorable.”

That means:

You are different because you belong to God
Your life should reflect God’s goodness
You are meant to live with purpose and dignity

So, who are you?

You are someone who knows God, belongs to God, and is called to live in a holy way.